Arrr! GOP scallywags be tossin’ landlubbers off the voter list, claimin’ ‘tis non-citizens tryin’ to hoist the sails o' democracy!
2025-04-01
Arrr, matey! This month, two scallywag states, led by them Republican sea dogs, be cuttin' away hundreds of thousands o' voter names like a crafty captain cleanin' his ship! And one o’ 'em even spotted landlubbers pretendin' to vote! A merry jest on the high seas of democracy, I say!
Avast ye landlubbers and scallywags! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn from the treacherous seas of politics! In a month most peculiar, two states governed by them Republican swabs hath tossed aside a treasure trove of voter registrations—hundreds o’ thousands, to be precise! Aye, like a captain throwin’ overboard the bilge water, they’ve scrubbed the decks of their voter rolls clean!But hold fast! That be not the end of this merry tale. Another state, with an eye sharper than a hawk’s, discovered a motley crew of non-citizen voters lurkin’ in their midst like stowaways aboard a ship! Aye, they be siftin’ through the voter list as if it were a chest o’ gold, seekin’ out those who don’t belong on this voyage.
With a hearty laugh, one might say these states be takin’ their voter maintenance as seriously as a pirate guards his rum! It seems they’re on a mission to keep their ships fair and square, kickin’ weeds from the garden of democracy. So hoist the Jolly Roger, me hearties, and let this be a lesson: in the grand sea of voter rolls, not all that glitters is gold, and sometimes ye just gotta toss the barnacles overboard!